This is a tough argument that has been highlighted in newspapers time and time again with still no answer. But what happens when a Cafe or restaurant bans the kids? Generally they get shamed on social media and outed as horrible, terrible, non child loving people. I am sure there is a whole lot more to it than that.
I think the issue here is not really about children in cafe’s It is , should businesses be allowed to make their own rules and serve who they want to? Instinctively I say YES but then where do we draw the line? First its kids, then maybe people with hair that shed, then maybe people who talk too loud, people who smell? people who don’t look befitting of the Cafe’s theme? When you open up a can of worms, all the little ones wiggle and wiggle out.
Have you ever wanted to enjoy a night out without kids (not just your kids but other peoples kids) ? If so do you feel there is somewhere for you to go that is totally child free? Would you frequent a place like this or be offended?
Yes, I do think restaurants or cafés should be allowed to ban children. If the parents can’t control them then they don’t need to be out in public .I don’t appreciate eating in a place where the kids are just wild. I have seen a family with 5 children all different ages and they were all very well behaved. When I commented on it she told me that if her children acted up in any public place they would immediately be taken home and disciplined, hats off to her. Most parents let their children act as if they are on a playground, well keep them home or bring them to a McDonalds.
Bars. Bars are child-free. So are nightclubs. Strip joints. Comedy Clubs. We have a movie theater here (Portland, OR) with bar service that is 21 and over in ONE of their rooms. And you would be unlikely to find children in an expensive restaurant like a Ruth Chris or some such.
So yeah there are places you can go to avoid kids. I think it’s definitely bad for business for a place that isn’t any of the above, to ban children. Clearly they will get smeared in social media for it. But I don’t think a restaurant manager is out of line to ask the parents of a child that is running around annoying people to please reign their child in, or perhaps step outside for a moment to let the child run off some of that energy. The parents are customers, but so are the many people the kid is annoying.
Children should not be taken to restaurants at hours when they should be asleep or getting ready for bed (after 7 pm), or to places where alcohol is a major component of the dining experience.
I think the issue of children being banned from restaurants has become an issue because many parents have not done a good job of training their children to be polite and responsible in public places. My parents took all 5 of us out to eat when we were kids, and sometimes to very fancy restaurants. But we were taught how to behave in public. There were never any outbursts, we could sit quietly and we would eat what we ordered. We would never have thought of pitching a fit in a restaurant because we didn’t get what we wanted, and we were also taught table manners. This has become more apparent to me as I have gotten older and have grandchildren whom i would not want to take to a restaurant because of their lack of table manners and the way they interrupt the meals of others. Because we have become such a child centered society, we forget that going out socially has responsibilities with it to let others enjoy themselves. But then again we would never have acted at our own kitchen table the way many children do in restaurants today.
I would totally prefer to go to a restaurant which banned kids. I have tried eating only to have the parents not pay attention to the children, allowing them to run under other patron’s tables, throw stuff and make a general nuisance of themselves. Parents think the waitress is their babysitter. I have sat in a booth only to have the child behind me kick the back or lean over the back and pull my hair. It is largely the parents fault for not supervising the child. But any restaurant that opens as an adult-only establishment has my vote and patronage.
Children can not learn how to behave in restaurants of any type unless they are taken to these establishments. In fact to become socially acceptable individuals, they must be allowed into these establishments. However, I see no problem with a restaurant setting a time in the the evening when children are no longer allowed in the restaurant.
I worked in the restaurant business for about 20 years. Many different types of establishments. I have 5 children. They were taken to dine in these establishments. They were always well behaved.
I have always felt sorry for children whose parents drug them out late in the evening, to a full service restaurant. These children were tired, hungry and cranky. I believe parents were rude to the children and the other patrons.
As far as restaurants with totally no children allowed. No, I do not find that acceptable.
I would support a “families with children section” as opposed to outright banning. The other option is to avoid Family Friendly restaurants when a quiet night out is what is hoped for.
Do you people have editors or proof readers? Craft Gossip is becoming unreadable. I hope they don’t pay you a whole lot for this drivel.
When my children were young if one was crying and wouldn’t stop I would remove them from the building until they calmed down. I also was a waitress years ago and some parents let their children run around and ignored their behavior. This could be dangerous when you are carrying trays or hot drinks as well as annoying to other dinners. They also let their kids throw food all over and didn’t care or thought it was cute. We always picked up any accidentally dropped food when dining with our children. Some people just don’t have manners.
Children need to behave in this situation and I agree with Pat. S. When you let you children run free in restaurants you are asking for trouble. If waitress spills hot coffee, or hot food on your misbehaving child – well you get the point.
A restaurant owner has the right to make the rules, as long as they aren’t breaking any laws about discrimination. They can say “no shirt, no shoes, no service” or “no children under 7”.
The people who are up in arms about “no children” rules can boycott them and the people who enjoy child free dining can support them. In the end the cash register will determine if it was a good choice or a bad choice for that particular restaurant in that particular market.
Part of it depends on the restaurant. An upscale, high end restaurant is different than Denny’s. In either case, the kids need to behave and stay at the table but the more I pay, the more I expect have a quiet, non-disrupted experience.
The problem I see is only badly behaved people, regardless of age. There are restaurants where, restaurant owners and staff make gestures to welcome children, such as featuring children’s menus, providing crayons, puzzle sheets, etc. Some have gone to some expense to provide play areas. People who visit there may expect children still learning how to be “in public.” One would expect parents to take charge of children by helping them keep occupied or instruction. The problem of parents not being responsible if childish behavior continues should not be the restaurant’s to solve. If the issue is safety, that should be addressed directly to parents, but badly behaved children are the fault of the parents and you can be sure the children probably behave badly in other places too. If diners are disturbed, they can ask the staff to be moved to seats in a different area.
That said, If I want a quiet, undisturbed meal without disruption, I would pick a restaurant that does not cater to children.
You know what? I have seen as many putative adults behaving inappropriately in cafes and restaurants, yes, including high end places, as I have children. I’d argue that the 8-top of 20 somethings that were literally throwing food at each other the last time I went to a restaurant geared towards adults were considerably more disruptive than the average family with children. Certainly more disruptive than my own children, even when they were toddlers.
On the other hand, we do make an effort not to bring our kids places where they aren’t ready to behave in an appropriate way. We try out taking them to a fancy restaurant at an off time, for instance, so the only people likely to be disturbed if they aren’t ready to behave yet are the servers, who we properly compensate.
We had one here in my hometown and it was FANTASTIC! Adults could go out, have a nice dinner or drinks, without having to worry about a bunch of kids crying or running around like banshees. Notice I said “had” though. They were picketed, talked about in the newspapers and tv, etc. The whole “they’re being discriminatory” issue came up time and time again. My thing is, if you don’t agree with their decision, DON’T GO THERE! You have a choice of many other places you can go to that don’t have that same stipulation. As someone with no children, I appreciated the thought of not having to deal with lazy parents. Alas…it was a fleeting dream as they are no longer in business after being ridiculed publicly.
Oh, my great pet peeve! Or should I say my great kid peeve? People used to leave kids with sitters, which is where they should be, unless parents are willing and able to teach them to behave, beginning with having consideration for others. There is a restaurant inPA that bans kids. I don’t remember the name but pkease look it up online and let your local restaurants know how it is done.